I just finished the chapter in Ina May's Guide to Childbirth about Sphincters.
Apparently, the cervix and vagina are sphincters. I was not aware of this.
"Who cares?"
Well, it turns out that sphincter muscles are quite crucial to labor and delivery. That sounds obvious, so I must again ask,
"Yeah, so?"
Well, sphincter muscles are very connected to a persons emotional state, particularly the state of relaxation. Ina May's argument is to get women out of the hospitals and into their own bedrooms for birth. I am quite comfortable with my hospital and nurse-midwives, so I will not be at home, but I think her sphincter lesson is still a useful one to anyone about to experience childbirth. She compares the relaxation and opening of the birth sphincters to the other more commonly talked about sphincter. Think of how most people feel uncomfortable using public restrooms, and they even have private stalls and locks on the doors. Now think of laying on a table with strangers staring at your nether regions and telling you to relax. Her advice on the promotion of sphincter relaxation boils down to a few tips. I'm not sure how possible they will be, but it will be worth a try:
1. Do not feel startled or frightened.
2. Laugh. Laughter not only releases natural pain-relieving endorphins, but it also allows the sphincter to open. Does anyone know a good joke for a woman in labor that will surely distract her enough from the intense pain to laugh? I am up for suggestions. I will write the jokes on a piece of a paper for Peter to bring into the delivery room. I can just hear him say "So what's up with this thing," in a Jerry Seinfeld voice as he picks up a random birthing prop. I wouldn't laugh at that now, but I do laugh at the visual image of the look I would give him after he said it. OK, that will go on the list. I wonder if hysterical laughter would help. I bet it would. I bet I would freak people out if I did that. On with the list.
3. Deep Breathing. I can handle that.
4. Water Baths. Also one that I can see helping.
5. Sing. I just don't know what song would be appropriate.
6. Moo.
7. Make "raspberries" with your lips, like a horse.
8. Speak aloud positive thoughts. That whole quantum physics deal.
9. Speak aloud of your greatest fears. Vocalizing your fears may help you dilate, they may be bottling you up.
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3 comments:
Pete can use this one liner in the Delivery Room...
"Sphincter? I hardly know her! Whoah!"
Katy, every woman has her "birth song." Those are the sounds you will naturally make during birth. For me it sounded similar to the moaning you might have during sex. And saying the word "open" in a relaxed way. You will find your way.
Here's a good joke for Peter to tell while you are pushing:
What did the duck say when he laid a square egg?
Ouch!
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